Punishment
by zeshadesofjustice
Summary: Ever been curious about the punishment that Sev was forced to endure after he returned to Voldemort in GoF? I have been. Here's one of my many takes on it.


"One, too cowardly to return…he will pay. One, who I believe has left me forever…he will be killed, of course. One, who remains my most faithful servant and it was through his efforts that our young friend arrived here tonight."

The words ran through his head again as he bustled around his office, delaying for just a tiny bit longer the return he was about to make to the man who's service he had left fourteen years ago. He looked almost as if he were on autopilot, and it was definitely a good thing that he knew this room like the back of his hand, and knew where everything was. He hadn`t bothered to light a candle since he knew he wouldn't be here long enough to warrant it, and the absence of the light combined with his distraction over the words he had gleaned from Potter's memories of the graveyard meant he didn't notice when another person entered the room.

He stood at the desk, the pensieve before him, and placed the tip of his wand to his head. He pulled it away, placing the silvery strand in the basin, and moved to repeat the process when the figure spoke.

"It's happened, then?" The voice was familiar, very familiar. Draco Malfoy stood in the doorway; an eye following his professor's wand's every movement. "He's back, sir?"

Severus didn't answer for a moment, extracting another memory, and then he lowered his wand and placed it within his robes. "He returned a little over an hour ago."

"And you haven't gone?"

He turned to lock the pensieve in a cabinet behind him, thinking as he did so that if Draco were any other student he would be rebuked for the manner in which he was speaking. But as it were, he was Lucius's son…and he knew that the boy looked up to him, respected him. He wasn't intending to provoke, was merely curious. Curious and, possibly, concerned. "Dumbledore has had me at his side since the Mark burned. I had to wait for his 'permission' to leave if I wish to retain my post here." He paused again, only to step around his desk. "I suggest you return to your common room, Draco, lest Filch or Mrs. Norris wander down here."

The boy nodded once and turned without another word, after which Severus stepped from his sanctuary and sealed it. His steps, as he moved through the dungeons and corridors, were quick and silent. When he exited the castle he paused for a brief second just to enjoy a breath of fresh air, and then he moved at a rapid pace to the gates to Hogsmeade, where he could disapparate, wondering all the while if the Dark Lord had considered him the coward or the deserter.

[-][-][-]

"Ah, Severus. I wondered if you would come or if you would try to stay away, to hide." Voldemort turned to stare at him, his red eyes unreadable. His tone was as silky as ever, making it difficult to determine how dangerous a mood he was in. It wasn`t like it wouldn`t shift with the wind anyway. Best just to tread lightly and carefully.

"Unlike Karkaroff, I am no coward. I stayed with Dumbledore when the Mark burned."

"Ah, I see..." He stroked his snake`s head for a moment, obviously wondering if Snape was being honest.

"I do assume that you would like me to keep my post..."

The Dark Lord nodded slightly. "It is most convenient, especially as Dumbledore trusts you so. Although, surely, when he knew that I called, he would have told you to come immediately." He looked over at Severus, who was standing at the window, his arms crossed behind him. With a wave of his hand, Voldemort transfigured a couple chairs and sat. "Severus, join me."

"The Minister was there too. Since it is namely Dumbledore's word that kept me out of Azkaban and at Hogwarts, it would have been unwise for an order to return to you to be issued in Fudge's presence." As the Death Eater did what was asked, Wormtail burst into the room, somehow managing to balance a tray with a bottle of mead and two glasses that sat on top of it. He set the tray down and poured the drinks before scuttling out the door. As it shut, Severus spoke. "His hand. You gave it to him?"

Voldemort nodded once and sipped his mead. "He believes it a gift, but it serves a dual purpose. One that I suspect will benefit me more in the long run..."

Severus didn`t bother to reply and sat holding his glass without drinking. He was nervous but was managing to hide it, much thanks to Occlumency.

"So, Severus, you have much to tell me about Harry Potter and Dumbledore. I learn nowhere near enough in the few short minutes I am ever with the boy... But first, there are other things I must know. First off… You never made an attempt to find me after I vanished. Why?"

Severus finally took a sip of his drink and then set it down, looking to the other wizard. "For the same reason as everyone else: I believed you were dead."

Voldemort's eyes flashed suddenly, though he had heard that answer already tonight. When he spoke, his voice rose slightly in volume. "You believed I was dead? I, who you know took measures to prevent such a thing, thought that a mere boy was able to demolish me?"

"I am not proud of the fact," Severus said softly. "But it is the truth. I believed that you were dead and gone, that there was no point in searching. I was wrong, and I regret that you had to rely on someone as pitiful as Wormtail to restore you…but he surprisingly managed to carry out the process, for which I am grateful."

"He has had his uses, certainly, but I would have preferred a more skilled wizard such as you." He paused. "You stood between me and the Sorcerer's Stone, the very thing that could have given me enough power to return sooner. Why?"

"I saw only a person who was greedy, unworthy, and who did not even need it, trying to steal the stone. I did not know that you were using Quirrell… If you had revealed yourself-"

Nagini hissed, moving slightly closer to him, as Voldemort raised his voice once more. "If I had revealed myself, Severus? And why should I have done that, when you appeared every bit Dumbledore's puppet?"

"I did not mean to imply that you were wrong, my lord. I only mean to say that if I had known what you were doing, I would not have thwarted Quirrell. I understand your reasons for not trusting me."

"You have said already that you did not return because you wanted to make it seem like you were coming on Dumbledore's orders. But, Severus, I cannot help but think that there is another reason I did not see you in the cemetery. I cannot help but think that you truly did not want to return to me…."

"My lord, the Dark Mark grew stronger for months; I knew you were going to be returning, as soon as I noticed it. And tonight, it began to burn more. When I looked, it was clearer than it has been for fourteen years, and then it went black. Karkaroff fled. If I did not want to return to you, I would have done the same. The year provided ample time to make a plan for supposed escape, which I _did not do_."

"Are you sure, Severus? Completely? You had already begun to distance yourself from me after telling me of the prophecy, after begging me to spare Lily Potter. You didn't believe I would do it, though, did you? You went to Dumbledore to ask him for his help… You went to Dumbledore, and told him of what was going to happen. You went to Dumbledore, and that provoked him into appointing a Secret Keeper for the Potters."

"I distanced myself from you on your orders! You wanted me to go to Dumbledore, because you wanted a spy! Telling him that was a means of getting him to trust me, which you know very well. I knew you would try to avoid killing her, but that you would do what you must." He winced inwardly at the words, because it was true that he had not trusted Voldemort's word. He had trusted Dumbledore, had hoped that _he _would be able to keep Lily alive. But he hadn't. Neither man had, and now all that Severus was doing, he was doing for her. "I am loyal to you."

Voldemort got to his feet and crossed the space between them. He stood directly before the sitting man and looked directly into his eyes. "Legilimens!" He had no need to speak the word, but did so only as an intimidation factor that didn't work as well on one particular wizard as he hoped that it would.

Severus had known it was going to happen; it was why he had taken a few of his memories out and left them behind at the castle. This was never pleasant, and it was already tricky enough to lock certain things away in his mind. He had been using Occlumency since he had arrived, as he always did in the presence of the Dark Lord. He sat, pretending to be helpless, as memories ran through his head. Conversations with Dumbledore, Potter, Lucius… They flew by rapidly as Voldemort searched for what wasn't there.

And finally, after several minutes, he stopped. There would be no conversation about Potter or Dumbledore at the moment; all that Voldemort currently wished to know had been pulled from Severus's mind. "Come now, Severus. Let us go and rejoin our family."

[-][-][-]

He walked behind Voldemort through halls that had not been visited by the Death Eaters for many years. Pristine as ever, they looked the same as they had at the last meeting here. Lucius and Narcissa were not ones to let appearances slip, though they would never stoop so low as to do the work themselves. There were a fair amount of house-elves here, though some people would never know, what with the way the creatures kept themselves out of sight.

They neared their destination quickly, noise drifting out from the closed room. Voldemort flicked his wand and the doors opened swiftly. The effect was immediate; all noise ceased as the two entered the room and the men and few women seated around the table got to their feet. He could feel all the eyes on him, the supposed traitor, despite the fact that many of them had seen him plenty of times in the last year alone.

Voldemort didn't comment as everyone gave a slight bow, acknowledging him with a murmured "My Lord," but chose to make his way to the head of the long table. Severus followed until he reached his empty position near the middle of the table, standing with the rest of the people until their master had taken his seat. As one, they all sat, and all attention was focused on Voldemort, waiting for his words.

"I have called us together tonight, again, to welcome back an old friend that – no doubt – you all know. At first, I thought him lost to us and our ways, but alas, he is leal and returned to serve me and our cause once more."

"My son tells me Severus is one of Dumbledore's pets," said Crabbe.

"I am no pet," Severus said, his tone suggesting that that certain implication be dropped soon. "Your son, however, may wish to consider becoming one if he has any desire whatsoever to pass my class." A soft titter went around the room as the man flushed, clearly unable to come up with a comeback. "I was doing my job, one requested by our Lord. My absence from his return was part of the assignment."

Nagini's head was visible as she looked around the table, tongue flicking out, while Voldemort stroked her. "He speaks the truth, which is more than I can say for the majority of you. All that Severus has done, he has done for me and on my command. And I offer him kudos, for playing his part very convincingly. I do not have to pretend to think that I could have found a better spy in any of you."

"I, too, doubt his loyalty…as do others at this table, my Lord." Yaxley looked around the table to see the others nodding in agreement, though he made sure not to meet Severus's gaze.

"Am I right to believe that you do not trust in my judgment? You think it is faulty, that it is below a level it should be at, that you could do better? You do not trust me enough to take my word as reason enough to believe Severus." He paused. "Very well. I understand all too well what it is like to work with someone you don't trust. Therefore, I shall allow you to sort this out amongst yourselves. After this, rest assured."

They asked Severus to leave, then, and told him that they would let him know when to come back in. He didn't have long to wait, a mere ten minutes, and walked into the room a second time full of trepidation. Sinking back down into his seat, he eyed the group warily, wondering when they were going to make an attack, but nothing happened for a couple more minutes. Then Lucius walked to the front of the semi-circle and handed him a goblet. He asked no questions as he took it, barely looking at it or smelling it first, and downed the entire thing.

Within moments he was knocked out, although he was immediately awakened in another realm, one that felt as though it had more possibilities in it. He was being compelled to do something, but there were many other things that could happen. It was strange, and peaceful, and yet he knew that this calm was not what he was being tested through. It was a false calm designed to entice him, subdue him, control him.

But he was determined not to fall into the trap.

A look around showed it to be night, and he was standing in Godric's Hollow, right in front of Lily. Behind her, in the grass, lay a peacefully sleeping Harry. She, however, was anything but peaceful, shifting her weight from foot to foot and studying him with suspicion.

"What are _you _doing here? I told you to leave me alone, Sev."

"And I tried. I did. But he's going to come here, to try to kill Harry, and if you stand in his way, you'll be dead too." He shivered slightly, wishing the October air were warmer.

"You expect me to just give him my son? What kind of person do you think I am?" Her voice grew in level, and he cast a nervous glance around. "I can't believe you."

"If you don't come with me, or at least leave, I'll do it myself. I'll kill you." Outwardly, he displayed no emotion for the statement. Inwardly, he winced. He would never… He couldn't…

But he was going to.

"Sev, I can't. I can't just _let _an innocent child be murdered!"

And he didn't say anything back to that. Didn't try further to sway her, to warn her. Didn't tell her that he loved her. Instead, he just pulled his wand from his robes, looked at her, and in a hollow voice that once again concealed the excruciating pain inward, uttered the words that ended her life.

He jerked awake as soon as she crumpled to the ground. The Death Eaters stood gaping at him, surprised that he wasn't uttering a single complaint. He had done what he had had to do…and he hated them all for it. They had forced him to do something they knew would be terrible for him, because even though they didn't know he loved Lily, they knew that he had cared about her.

They knew what torture this was. And that knowledge, more than anything else, made him know that he couldn't falter at all in his role in all of this.

As Dumbledore had said to Potter, "We must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy." He knew which choice he was making.

* * *

_** for those who don't know, "leal" means loyal or true._


End file.
